My 4 year old does the opposite of what is asked of him? Help!!?

First of all you are filling the role of two parents, you do the moms part, cook and clean and help will homework, but what would he do with his dad? Maybe play catch, ride bikes. I think your boy needs friends, and maybe you should discipline him differently. You are right though, there are worse issues some parents try to deal with, when it comes to kids.